IT'S JUNE. How is it that I've left this page go so muted for five months? I completely forgot I even had a day blog, nobody really blogs anymore. Nobody I keep up with that often, anyway. I kinda missed coming on here, but the fact that I couldn't even afford time, or the memory for this place for five months says quite some things, doesn't it? Nonetheless I really did miss this page (though I'm about 100% positive now that nobody reads it hahaha).
IT'S JUNE (again, reiterating this because I'm in shock, partially from the fact that my last post was in January woah) AND HERE I AM. In half a year there's quite a bit to talk about. It feels like it's been a year or something, the idea of how fast time flies is actually crazy.
I've never made it a habit to talk about my life here but maybe I should, right? No one will judge me now anyway, it's practically like talking to myself on here hahahaha.

Within the past 6 months:
1) School, school and more school
Which is dreadful. But I live to work and work to live (or in this case, study) and no matter how insane it drives me, I hate to sound like such a bore but honestly I'm a workaholic. An overly, terribly work-attached being. It gives my life meaning (though I mostly do it to torture myself, it seems, from the pure regime of it all). I might be overdoing it though; I'm giving myself so much unaccountable stress. There's been so many tests and exams but I still haven't gotten around to calming my freaking farm and getting used to this shit. I still think failure is a bitter pill to swallow (I'm not afraid, neither do I look down on failing - I honestly think it's healthy and commendable, it's just that) given the pure slogging I dedicate to homework and revision.
I am disgustingly mugger (I roll my eyes at myself all the time too).

2) League, CCA, camp
I think trug's been the centre of my JC life for a period of time, other than the crazy studying (I inflict on myself, might I add hahaha). I'm actually beyond glad we've stepped down. The entire leadership thing put too much weight on the CCA, it was actually beginning to hurt me more than it was worth. Gradually it felt like the takeaways stagnated, it felt like to add on more to it would inflict more pain than actually enjoying the experience, or growing from it. Despite that, the few things I did grow from would definitely be league. I'm just glad I never have to take on the leadership again. I'm tired,  believe me. I should have delegated more.

3) People leaving
Claudia's left for Australia (just yesterday) and Jo left for Hong Kong for a month (just two days before). It scares me how one day we might all end up in different corners of the world. It's so big, there's so many spots for us to reside. Maybe one too many.

I don't actually think there are very many other main categories of things to talk about. As of this point in time life is pretty dull and routine-driven, if I'm not in school I'm getting shit done. I miss spontaneity and going out.

I think I should go to sleep now and maybe (hopefully) come back here some other day when I'm in a better mood with more to say. It's been nice, though :-)

HAPPY 2014 (I am 11 days late, but) YAY IT'S 2014 AND THIS PLACE IS DEADER THAN A MORNING LECTURE.
(Pardon the education reference, school's begun and it's all I know how to relate to. Those in tertiary education empathise hahaha)
It's a new year /pops confetti/ :-) I still have resolutions set but they're no longer going to be posted on this blog. I don't know why I still keep this blog, I think it's more for what's past than what's about to come. This place kind of houses a lot of the emotions and nervous thoughts I had years ago that somehow I can't bear to leave behind.
These days school gets so hectic and my life is so boring, the only drama is practically just the inner turmoil I create for myself. There's nothing much to say on this blog anymore. I think too much, I struggle pretty much, but I never think of this space to rant to when that happens.
Eventually, this place will go all too quiet, but I'm pretty sure I'll always keep it here. For me, for whoever wants to laugh at my past, for the times I want to look back and remember the way I was feeling that exact month, years ago.

The first week of 2014 worked out really well for me, despite it being really tiring because S C H O O L. But I'm trying to keep optimistic and hold my own fort. I believe 2014 will only be good if I believe it to be :-) I guess I started my year pretty well too.
2013 brought me a lot, and taught me so much I wouldn't trade anything for. Granted, there were many ways I wished it could have played out differently. But as much as all roads lead to Rome, no two roads are the same, I'm sure.
It's always the detours along the way that really leave their mark. It helps us find the people we know we were supposed to become in the smallest ways possible. Falling out, falling in, falling apart (wah I sound like an emokia HAHAHA), fragmented relationships, new-found friendships - last year was really a year of beginnings, adjusting and transition. So much I've figured, but so much more has opened up that I'm not too sure of.
I can only hope 2014 brings me clearer vision and the courage to find the answers to things I'm unsure of. The uncertainties of 2013, addressed in 2014: how does that sound?
I hope 2014 is all you want it to be, friend or stranger. Bless you if you're still reading my blog, you must really like dead spaces/be really patient/consistent/thoughtful for remembering this measly webpage on the world wide web even after all this time hahaha.

It's a Saturday night, almost Sunday (in about 30 minutes). At the risk of sounding like my old self again, I still must say: Have a good weekend (and January) everybody!

PS, I can now write '18' in my profile (although we all know it's half a lie hahaha). THIS IS WEIRD.


If this isn't one of the most calming things to listen to in the morning, I don't know what is.

Hi guise, I think for just a week my life has resumed and actually gone back to the way it used to be (like post-O's, and honestly it does feel a bit post-O's although I have to admit I feel a bit lonelier and there's less to look forward to HAHAHA). Sometimes it's nice to look where the business used to be and then you see some gaps, it makes you very very thankful :-)
I hope whoever is reading this is having a good time - wherever you are, whatever you're doing - I hope things are okay for you, and I hope you take it easy on yourself. Things will get better, everything will be okay. God will never throw you into something you can't handle, hang in there!

Some quick updates about life: Promos and PW are over forever whoooooo (here comes the moment where I cue: "What's PW? Can eat one not?" AND I CAN FINALLY SAY THAT HAHAHA /dork/). I've got a week's worth of break because no one else is done with their OP exam I feel quite lonely sometimes HAHAH (I believe I said that already whoops). My schedule is practically CCA and ISLE all the way from when everyone is done with PW until it's departure date.
Which brings me to: Yes, I'm going to India in about two weeks and I am so terrified HAHAHA. I feel so many things ahhhhh but mostly I just feel lost because I don't know, we all just have this huge mental concept that when something big happens for the first ever time, it's supposed to go up in this huge way. There's supposed to be this huge kind of tension that builds up and the excitement is supposed to linger because there's gonna be so much talk or prep for it for the longest time but for some reason because it feels awfully quiet and neglected I just don't know how to go about feeling towards this trip HAHA. There is a degree of fear, of which I'm sure, and some extent of excitement, but yes I am only 100% sure I feel (some sort of) lost.
23 days is practically a week short of a month so I'll be gone for a month it'll be as if I died HAHAHA pls tell me someone will miss me if not I'll be so sad /dork x2/ :-( Heheheh just kidding no one will I'm such a terrible friend hahaha sawbs

Post-India is gonna be just as hectic, it's like I settle for about 4 days and then I go off again for a family holiday woah sigh pie. But ah well kinda excited I guess??? Can only hope it'll be fun HAHAH. Then give or take 5 more days and I'll be back and it's my favourite time of year: CHRISTMAS.
How messy is this gonna get, add on the fact that there will probably be work to do :'-( (Ok trix pls stop worrying about these nitty gritty details hahaha yes I talk to myself a lot these days)

My normality has been ruined I'm sorry to whoever's been reading so far and made it to the end of this post you must really enjoy the erratic HAHA.
Alright alright, my complaints stop here, have a good weekend stranger/friend/companion! :-)